


(Dancing) On My Own

by flickawhip



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Abuse, M/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-08
Updated: 2019-05-08
Packaged: 2020-02-28 16:40:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18760324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flickawhip/pseuds/flickawhip
Summary: Vanessa watches Brooke move on.AU as all hell.





	(Dancing) On My Own

“Somebody said you got a new friend  
Does she love you better than I can?  
There's a big black sky over my town  
I know where you're at, I bet she's around  
And yeah, I know it's stupid  
But I just gotta see it for myself...”

The music echoes even as Vanessa freezes in the doorway, eyes bright with unshed tears, her entire body vibrating at the sight in front of her. She had thought, for once, she was the chosen one. She knew she had been.... and then the fight had happened. Brooke had run into the night, chased away by angry words, Vanessa yelling so loudly she knew Shuga had heard in the room next door. That had been months ago... Brooke had moved on. She knew that... she just hadn’t planned... this. 

“I'm in the corner, watching you kiss her, oh oh oh  
I'm right over here, why can't you see me, oh oh oh  
And I'm giving it my all, but I'm not the guy you're taking home, ooh  
I keep dancing on my own...”

The way Brooke moved with Shuga was beautiful and painfully lyrical. They made so much sense. Brooke had never seemed to make sense like that with her and Vanessa choked on the pain.  
“I'm just wanna dance all night  
And I'm all messed up, I'm so out of line, yeah  
Stilettos and broken bottles  
I'm spinning around in circles  
And I'm in the corner, watching you kiss her, oh  
I'm right over here, why can't you see me, oh  
And I'm giving it my all, but I'm not the guy you're taking home, ooh  
I keep dancing on my own  
And oh no...”  
She could remember every time she had lashed out at Brooke. Yelling, angry, pushing her around. She could still see the scars on Brooke’s arms and back, the reality of what she had done to the Queen, the man, she loved hit her too hard for her to breathe. She hated how she felt. Music continued and she found herself watching with tears in her eyes.

“The lights come up, the music dies  
But you don't see me standing here  
I just came to say goodbye  
I'm in the corner, watching you kiss her, oh  
And I'm giving it my all, but I'm not the guy you're taking home, ooh  
I keep dancing on my own  
And oh no....”

She had walked to the corner, following the music and collapsing. Hating herself for everything that she had done to Brooke to push her toward Shuga. 

“Sit down in the corner, watching you kiss her, oh no  
And I'm right over here, why can't you see me, oh no  
And I'm giving it my all, but I'm not the guy you're taking home, ooh  
I keep dancing on my own  
So far away, but still so near  
The lights come up, the music dies  
But you don't see me standing here...”

She had left as the music stilled, stopping in the door to look back. Smile just once, heartbroken and aware she had been the mistress of her own fate, then leave. She didn’t see what happened after. She didn’t see Shuga glance back and see her. Didn’t see Shuga’s grip on Brooke tighten or how loudly Brooke sobbed when the music faded, crumbling into Shuga, her face burrowed into Shuga’s neck as she cried, finally, finally, letting go of her protective barrier and telling Shuga how it had ended. How the glass had been broken by Vanjie. A heat of the moment shattering of glass and a lifetime with scars. She had not felt safe since then.... until tonight. Feeling Shuga hold her closer, stroke her back, let her cry. She hated being afraid but she had sworn to always, always, stay with Shuga.


End file.
